Peace Out, Good Dog

Molly Nelson Standard Leave a Comment

Badger The Dog
(Arrived on Earth sometime in September of 2001
Departed Earth yesterday of 2016)
Badger was born somewhere nearby Mexican Hat, Utah in the Navajo Nation and soon after took up residence with Jolene The Nice Woman and her ponies. One day a van of foriegners pulled into his yard in search of water and the local scoop. One of the foriengners was a puppy from Washington State and the remainder were humans from a farm in Maine. Everyone fell in love and Jolene gave Badger her blessings, then sent him off to see the world with his new friends. She was not into puppies at that particular time of her life.
For the next year or so, Badge watched with disgust as his younger brother, Blue, grew into a large muscular dog, and he pretty much stayed small. He soon displayed rather fiesty behaviors, acted like an asshole a lot and took up violent hobbies such as snapping the necks of woodchucks and eating them slowly over the course of several days.
Badger was prone to accidents and often visited Mark for tune-ups, but saved his humans some money by the ability to withstand being stitched with dental floss and having quills pulled by his human’s teeth.
Badger enjoyed hunting, fishing, fighting and camping. In his latter years he mellowed some, preferring corn cobs and donkey poop to rotten flesh, and sleep to brawls. A true farm dawg, Badge never wore a collar a single day of his life.
He was predceaced by Jolene The Nice Woman, Blue ( slept on his bro’s grave for three nights ), and two stinky old pug sisters ( he did not sleep on their graves )
He is survived by a large family of Merrifielders, including countless humans, an unknown number of cats, brother Booger and his beloved donkeys.
Services were held next to the swimming hole yesterday.
In lieu of sunflowers, you may adopt an unwanted mutt.

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